My first ever public rant. I usually save rants for when I’m all by myself, muttering around my house. We’ll see how this goes.
🌞 On behalf of the important, brave, beautiful, passionate people in your community
who stick their neck out to put on the events, classes, or workshops that make your community what it is:
That yoga class you go to every week.
The art or music teacher putting on workshops for your kids.
The music event. The house concert.
The group fitness, running, writing, or parenting workshops or weekly meetups
The meditation, music, wellness, dance, improv or financial literacy workshops.
The caterers or local restaurant putting on a community BBQ.
The volunteer sport coaches setting up a team event.
These folks put a lot of heart on the line to set up these events. They may have spent weeks planning—a hundred hours work ahead of time is normal for these folks. And for many, they have also put their livelihood and ability to pay bills later this month on the line also—to be able to offer this in your world…
🌞 If we don’t wish to attend their event in the first place, that’s totally fine.
Don’t tell them we’re going.
BUT…
If we sign up and say that we’re attending their event… and then don’t… That’s what I want to speak to in the video.
They may have been counting on us.
🌞 But… I know, I know. These things can happen.
I have some suggestions in the video for how to make it right when we err, and what to keep in mind in future.
I fear I may have done this a time or two in the past myself—hopefully it was before I knew better. I just think that most folks are just not aware of what NOT showing up means for the person who put the thing together. (or not addressing it afterwards in a meaningful way—if something came up last-minute for us, or we plumb just forgot. That happens. A suggestion in the video.)
❤️ And now a message to you, my dear event organizer friend:
🌱 especially if you’re just starting out and just had a washout event (people said they were coming, then didn’t show)
It can take the rug right out from underneath you.
(should I even ever do this again? Can I ever make my living doing this? Does anyone actually care about this stuff? Am I deluding myself? —questions like that.)
I’ve taught workshops for 30 years. At least a couple hundred at this point, could be double that. I started when I was about 22 - teaching SCUBA diving classes for years and some First Aid on the side. Then Reiki for more years. Then the last 15+ years my ‘WTF am I doing with my life’ workshops with the Big Dream Program around North America and membership online.
Workshops have always been part of whatever I was doing, despite being a hermitic introvert, because I love what happens when like-hearted people get together for a common purpose.
I’ve had plenty my share of no-shows—and asked myself all those questions a hundred times in the early years. (Very often in the middle of the night when I was awake worrying about what the hell I was doing.) But I’m still here, after all these years, doing it full-time.
If that gives me any credibility at all in your world to offer you a personal suggestion… here it is:
🔥 The Seven Days Approach.
🌞 Days 1-7: (put this in your calendar)
I heartily suggest taking it personally for a few days—or as long as it takes, if that’s how you feel. I recommend giving space to that. It will serve you later.
Journal about it, or vent and chat with a friend you know who gets this kind of thing. (your family may not, if they don’t know what it feels like. Try to find someone who’s been in the position you’ve been in.)
Until that mood runs out of steam naturally. It usually does. Don’t rush it. If it’s two weeks, it’s two weeks.
All the while...
Breathe a lot—crazy deeply; practise some self-care.
Walk in nature. Hear birds.
Your body can help you process this far better than your head, if you let it. Move. Move. Move.
🌞 Wake up on Day 8:
How do you feel now? You want to try again?
If not, let it go. Very few people even try what you did. You already won. Move on.
If you do… then… for the love of all things holy, roll up your sleeves.
One event (or even ten) not working out is not even remotely the sum total of you—if in your career you will do hundreds. And help a lot of people.
For the sake of yourself—as well as your community, and our world which may benefit greatly from your dogged determination… Try this:
1️⃣ Make a list of 15 things you ROCKED in your life in the past. So you have solid flagstones to stand on.
2️⃣ Let your brain go to work and see what you can improve about the outcome next time.
3️⃣ And then wake up some morning that week, stretch (you’ll know it when it’s THE day)—and… start planning your next one.
My message to your heart is:
Don’t. Quit.
At least not now.
You’re just getting started.
Go For It.
